so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
