I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
