McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
