dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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