you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize