Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
