I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize