Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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