We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
