Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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