Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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