your room smells of hookers.
And success
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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