the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
