If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
