I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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