why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
