On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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