All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
