Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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