Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
