How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
