How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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