You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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