thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
