dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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