If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
