How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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