He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
