I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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