come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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