ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
