We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
