Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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