we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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