her vagine was all disorganized.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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