I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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