I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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