woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
