every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
