If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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