Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
