All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
