what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just blew my weed a kiss
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
