Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
