Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize