Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
