When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
