oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
