Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
