I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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