I got chris browned last night
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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