my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
