When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
