am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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