whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
