I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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