It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
