It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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