New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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