we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
